Saturday, December 26, 2009

Family, Holiday & Tammy-isms

And there we were, full bellied and wrapping up 2009, charading our most memorable moments and creating moments for the years ahead. With tag lines such as "I hate babies, they annoy me" and running full force to the pie table only to be interrupted by a sliding glass door (twice), Nicholas, my three year old cousin, was the heart of our laughter this year. And these moments will be added to the vault in which we'll so naturally re-open the next time we gather.

You could call them the star, or the center of attention, but there's one person each year that is single handedly teased the most. I'd be willing to bet that Tammy, my mom, has unintentionally assumed this role more often than not. And herein lies the creation of "Tammy-isms" - flighty acts and questionable words of wisdom.

I won't get into the flighty acts. But as far as questionable words of wisdom go, I've never actually gone out of my way to prove or dis-prove them. And they aren't SO lofty, as I've found myself repeating them as fact. So today I will repeat them again, but this time with a blurb of back-up.

Tammy-ism #1 - Water Cures Your Aches
Confimed: Dehydration is the leading cause of headaches. Muscle aches and cramps can also be caused by dehydration.

Tammy-ism #2 - Cheez Kills Friendly Flora
Confirmed: Any inorganic food you eat is packed with antibiotics, which destroy the good bacteria in your intestinal tract.

Tammy-ism #3 - Sugar Supresses Your Immune System
Confirmed: Sugar can suppress your immune system and impair your defenses against infectious disease.

Conclusion: Keeping Tammy-isms in your thoughts might be the the perfect mind-set as we begin a near year.

Happy 2010!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Torture and Triumph of Cleansing

You either hate or love/hate cleansing. I'm a love/hater. But to me, cleansing is the perfect way to jump start a diet.

I've tried a few cleanses and the one that keeps me coming back is The Ultimate Fasting Cleanse. The title itself is intimidating. And the thought of me, the hungriest girl ever, not eating for five days is nothing short of laughable. But if you can make it past the first day, I assure you it's do-able. Of course you'll have to overcome the urge of binge eating every ounce of food within eyeshot for a good 12 hours. And you'll feel like every conversation, TV show, and song played is centered around food. But it all becomes worth it after Day 2, when you start to feel clear, energized, and motivated.

By Day 5, your mind regresses to Day 1. You start negotiating with yourself, justifying how much harm one little raisin will do. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't cheat on the 5th day every time. But in my non-expert opinion, I feel as though 4 solid days of cleansing is sufficient.

Let's revisit the excitement over a raisin. Not just the raisin itself, but the act of chewing the raisin. What a treat! And this my friends is why cleansing is the perfect kick off to your dieting party. On day 5, you aren't itching to go through a Mcdonald's drive through, rather you're excited about food in general - any food, healthy food, the food on your fitness plan. It also doesn't hurt that you've most likely already dropped 5 lbs and enjoy the feeling of an easy zipper on your skinniest jeans.

Ultimate Fasting Cleanse @
Enter "RIS381" for $5 off

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Trifecta of Diet Awesome

After graduation and the few additional LBs that tag along with a newly acquired desk job, I sampled every diet under the sun. There were many that I hated, few that I tolerated, and barely any that I enjoyed. What I've come to realize is that most diets are created from a logical, nutrition-based concept, but taken to extremes in order for people to LOSE WEIGHT FAST! (think Billy Mays).

The diets that were my favorite, uncoincidentally, were the same diets that made me feel my best. Unfortunately, my favorites fall into the extreme category and were difficult to stick to as they tended to make me feel isolated and anti-social. So what were they?

- South Beach / Low Carb (most of 2007)
- Vegan (September 2008)
- Gluten-Free (August 2009 - December 2009)

I was recently tested for food allergies to confirm my suspicions that an allergy must be the cause of a lifetime of stomach mishaps. If it looks like an egg, it must be an egg, right? Wrong. A panel consisting of well over 30 food allergens and I tested negative for every last one of them. Really?? No answers! And so, my quest for optimal health continues...

I fell off the gluten-free wagon about two weeks ago upon receiving my test results AND as holiday goodies started pouring in my office doors. Evil monkeys!

I'm diet-less once again and scheming my next fitness plot. Each time I re-start the scheming process, I'm convinced, I "know" I will find the perfect way to be. So what's my plan today? The Trifecta of Diet Awesome! The Trifecta will be the result of dissecting the above mentioned favorites, cherry picking them if you will, creating a pro/con list and tossing all the cons. If only boys were this simple!

South Beach Pros: Low Gylcemic Index, High Fiber
South Beach Cons: Use of artificial sweeteners, Lots of Meat, Lots of Dairy

Vegan Pros: Alkaline Diet, Sustainable Lifestyle

Gluten-Free Pros: No Gluten = Less Sluggish/Difficult to enter food coma
Gluten-Free Cons: Somewhat difficult to eat out, Limited selection at the supermarket

So it is, my newest mission will be to eat foods low on the glycemic index, high on the fiber list, minimal animal, and very minimal gluten (wheat). If I find myself at a steakhouse swimming in a glorious pool of beef and bread, I won't freak, but I also won't venture often.

Wish me luck and happy holidays!

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Introducing me - a twenty-six year old, fit yet perpetually "dieting gal". I realize this describes approximately 90 percent of female generation y-ers; however there are a few things that distinguish me from the others. Of most importance? My willingness to document my quirky behavior.

I've unintentionally been on the diet train since scrunchies and spandex were cool. Items that were forbidden in my house? Soda, artificial anything, and anything consisting white flour are the first things that come to mind. Yes, I was the nerdy little nugget that critiqued lunches that didn't meet these standards, lunches that I would secretly admire as I'd eat my natural peanut butter and all fruit jelly sandwiches on soggy, whole grain bread. So this is the foundation upon which I was built. The foundation that would take me approximately 22 years to be so incredibly proud of and thankful for.

The purpose of Food: Fashion Meets Function is not to have a venue for passing judgement, but rather a place to share the findings of my compulsive, extensive, and unofficial "research". It's also highly likely that this is my solution to avoid being the cause of the glazed over look in my friends, family, and co-workers' eyes when I talk about food.

I'm not a nutritionist. I have no scientific background. I have no credibility whatsoever. What I do have? An extreme passion for being healthy - feeling my best now and making sure that I continue to feel my best until I'm feeding my great-grandchildren natural peanut butter and all fruit sandwiches on soggy, whole grain bread.

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